she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
