remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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