I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
