just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
