At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
