wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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