I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize