google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
