do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
