I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
