hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
they're like a gay fantastic four
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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