I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
