Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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