Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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