I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
