Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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