yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
