It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at about main and main street
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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