Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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