But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
