I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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