Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
