Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
