apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
