tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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