dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
