thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
