Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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