Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
