grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
