Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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