Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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