i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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