Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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