now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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