I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
