If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
