She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
