I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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