He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
