I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hippo gnu deer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
