Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
