Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
me + whiskey = a bad person
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
