You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
