new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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