Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We are two peas in an std pod
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
