what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
