Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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