Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
