My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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