he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
