i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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