My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
