our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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