All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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