Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
