he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
