i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
