I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
