it's like iHOP with fire
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
