did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
