i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
