there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.