it wasn't lemon gatorade
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
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He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.