Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have