Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
