I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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