Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
