somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
