did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
