We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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