Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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