Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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