You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
