Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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