he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
