Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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