i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
never play flip cup with pint glasses
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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