Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
