Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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